quarrel
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
I hate to quarrel with anyone. it has been ages since i last quarrel with anyone.. (except my last relationship)
he made me damn pissed off.
He says that i ka his lan jiao wei.
All i did was complain to his friend cause he freaking dua me for 2 times already and he is not the least apologetic. http://bloodofabitch.blogspot.com/2005/10/anger.html
Today is the 2nd time.
He asked me to study together.
In the end, he didnt even bother to send an sms to tell that he is not coming.
I reach school only to realise that noone was there(except james, one of his fren).
Called him and he says he is at home and he will only reach by 630pm to fetch me to WCP and study. (WTF? I wasnt informed of this arrangement? i Stay in the north!)
What does he take me for????? I am his friend. He ask me to come down and study together. should he be a little more responsible towards me? at least tell me the plans?
I am freaking angry but i know telling him off doesnt help for he is forever thinking he is correct. he is never wrong. MCPs.
I complain to his friend gregory. Greg forward all the sms to him.
and he sms me back
"if you unhappy, tell me. dont ka my lan jiao wei behind my back."
WTF?! LAN JIAO WEI? HELLO WHAT IS LAN JIAO WEI? LJW = things that are not true about you and doing it on purpose to badmouth you. DID I OR DID I NOT?! did i say in the msg that you are a bastard, you sux, etc? its all about what you did and how i feel about it? is that lan jiao wei? those are things that you did. those are the actions you did towards me. You dont give a damn fuck care if i'm there or not then why in the first place ask me to go and only to get "kite" from you?? When ever i am late i am at least responsible enough to msg you right? You have totally killed my opinion towards you.
FUCK YOU VERY MUCH I HAD ENOUGH!
Dont ever ask me to study together anymore.
Being too angry makes me wanna cry. I hate to quarrel with anyone. Moody....... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
______________________
Had a thought today..
I wish to die. I wish to be killed in an accident, i wish to disappear from this world... I was wondering.. who will cry for me, who will regret doing things that they shouldnt have done to me, who will miss me...
or..
i wish i could met an accident.. that results in a memory loss.. to forget everyone in my life.. forget my past.. forget my hurt.. forget my love.. forget my heart.. forget everything.. start anew with life.. with new friends.. cause i am sick of my life....
This thought is not link to the quarrel. do not misunderstood. its just a sudden emotions rushing into my head. before the quarrel happen.
______________________
Having inner most thoughts once again... *sigh* Brain and heart please stop thinking so much.. you are driving me crazy, you are killing me.. you are driving me to a verge of mental breakdown.. i am trying very hard to hide....
I really wonder which is the real me now. the cheerful girl that i portray to everyone, or the emotional and depressed blogger? So which is me? I'm confused too.
Am i complaining too much?.... oh well.... i just simply hate myself for being so........ confused, fickle and weak.
_____________________
"i wish... i could.. have........................................"
he made me damn pissed off.
He says that i ka his lan jiao wei.
All i did was complain to his friend cause he freaking dua me for 2 times already and he is not the least apologetic. http://bloodofabitch.blogspot.com/2005/10/anger.html
Today is the 2nd time.
He asked me to study together.
In the end, he didnt even bother to send an sms to tell that he is not coming.
I reach school only to realise that noone was there(except james, one of his fren).
Called him and he says he is at home and he will only reach by 630pm to fetch me to WCP and study. (WTF? I wasnt informed of this arrangement? i Stay in the north!)
What does he take me for????? I am his friend. He ask me to come down and study together. should he be a little more responsible towards me? at least tell me the plans?
I am freaking angry but i know telling him off doesnt help for he is forever thinking he is correct. he is never wrong. MCPs.
I complain to his friend gregory. Greg forward all the sms to him.
and he sms me back
"if you unhappy, tell me. dont ka my lan jiao wei behind my back."
WTF?! LAN JIAO WEI? HELLO WHAT IS LAN JIAO WEI? LJW = things that are not true about you and doing it on purpose to badmouth you. DID I OR DID I NOT?! did i say in the msg that you are a bastard, you sux, etc? its all about what you did and how i feel about it? is that lan jiao wei? those are things that you did. those are the actions you did towards me. You dont give a damn fuck care if i'm there or not then why in the first place ask me to go and only to get "kite" from you?? When ever i am late i am at least responsible enough to msg you right? You have totally killed my opinion towards you.
Dont ever ask me to study together anymore.
Being too angry makes me wanna cry. I hate to quarrel with anyone. Moody....... Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
______________________
Had a thought today..
I wish to die. I wish to be killed in an accident, i wish to disappear from this world... I was wondering.. who will cry for me, who will regret doing things that they shouldnt have done to me, who will miss me...
or..
i wish i could met an accident.. that results in a memory loss.. to forget everyone in my life.. forget my past.. forget my hurt.. forget my love.. forget my heart.. forget everything.. start anew with life.. with new friends.. cause i am sick of my life....
This thought is not link to the quarrel. do not misunderstood. its just a sudden emotions rushing into my head. before the quarrel happen.
______________________
Having inner most thoughts once again... *sigh* Brain and heart please stop thinking so much.. you are driving me crazy, you are killing me.. you are driving me to a verge of mental breakdown.. i am trying very hard to hide....
I really wonder which is the real me now. the cheerful girl that i portray to everyone, or the emotional and depressed blogger? So which is me? I'm confused too.
Am i complaining too much?.... oh well.... i just simply hate myself for being so........ confused, fickle and weak.
_____________________
"i wish... i could.. have........................................"
posted by icy at 10/26/2005 08:30:00 PM
[ back home ]
Comments for quarrel
I had the same thots some years ago... Hoping to lose memory of all the unhappiness and esp forget about those who hurt my heart, and start new life again. (Remember Andy Lau's "Give Me Forgetable Water"?) The feeling was very strong then. But then... til one day, my gf told me "If you choose to give up your life one day, it's NOT those who hurt you who will regret or feel sad for you. It's me AND your mother, who will be feeling depressed for losing you and remember you forever, 'cos you are unique." It's definitely NOT a good way to REPAY those who are truly care and concern abt u. Do NOT even have a slight thinking to forget those who treat you good!!!!Trust me, you got AT LEAST one, ten or even alot. A true frd (or even parents) always hope his/her friend (YOU) to live ur present live to the fullest and happier. You might not be happy (in ur heart) now, but you WILL BE happier soon! And you WILL! Remember, be happy or not, is UP for you to choose... not us and NOT THEM!
PS: Btw, did anyone told you that you look really chio when you smile? In case no one mentioned abt it these while, I'm telling you NOW! =) Cheer up gal!
PS: Btw, did anyone told you that you look really chio when you smile? In case no one mentioned abt it these while, I'm telling you NOW! =) Cheer up gal!
- Posted at 12:23 AM | By
GiGi Shuping
1stly, nice song in your blog. Familiar leh. Anyway, if you really have a loss of memory, those who really want you in their life and cherish you so greatly will make the efforts to know you from the beginning. Does that include me? What do you think?
*Hey Carol..My true love is you..Darling I love you..*
Hmmm.. Bo link yet again.. Haha.
*Hey Carol..My true love is you..Darling I love you..*
Hmmm.. Bo link yet again.. Haha.
- Posted at 2:21 AM | By
hhaaha.. austin! =X right? =) i do not know if that includes you.. for you have to ask yr heart if you cherish me as a fren greatly or not. =)
gigi. thanks. =) really thanks for those heartwarming words. dont worry.. its just a thought.. that suddenly came into my mind. I think that always happen when someone is taken for granted too long..
