Have not update my blog for a long long time.. cause i was busy.. watching 恶魔在身边!

Nice series by 賀軍翔 & 杨尘琳! (ok.. i cried.. while watching the last few episodes. >.< size="4">理想情人 b y 杨尘琳

穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了
金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好
喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等
听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦渐渐走到我前
头好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生
增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等
朋友变成情
人可不可以告诉我标准
不要让我一直等

Nice song~ ...

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Thoughts..

My life has come to a stop point. Unsure of what to do next. Do i still have to courage and determination to fight on?..
I realise.. that i have been paranoid.. all because i am insecure - the root of all the depression and saddness.
Insecurity.. cause i know i am noone special.. insecurity.. cause i realise its the same treatment everyone gets(or is it?).. insecurity cause.. of the one main reason..
Will i be able to convince myself not to care, not to mind?
hmm.. i'm not depress or sad now. I am just questioning myself.

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Saddness and hurt are part and parcel of life. With or without someone or anyone , life still goes on..

I strongly believe, there's no forever saddness.. just forever scars and memories..

I never give up in love.. towards anyone else.. cause i want an ending.. An ending to that particular stage in life where i have done my best.
I tried my best but he (i dun mean anyone in particular, serious) might not treasure/might not be the one.. at least.. i wun be the one regretting 5-10years down the road for not trying.. i will not be the one guessing.. if i have done this if i have done that.. would the ending be different..

Foolish thinking?? yeah i know. but thats me. The foolish and naive me.

I believe.. Everyone has been through this stage of foolishness, of persistence, of not giving up, believe in fighting to the very end even tho you know you will get brusies all over. I will only accept defeat if.. that someone ask me to give up.


Hurt i will.. but.. havent i gone through that hurt again and again? arent i familiar with that feeling?.. Yeah.. i am.. Too familiar with that.. pain.

Cry i will.. for.. tears washes away the pain as days goes by..

Torture myself i will.. for that is the mark of an ending for me.. My bad bad habit..

sleepless nights i will.. but it will soon go away...

all these will soon go away.. cause its part and parcel of life to make someone stronger.

without hurt.. i wun know what is happiness..

"That sheer moment of happiness that i will always held it in my heart.."

I have to try.. to learn how to live my life.. without relying on anyone.

Sigh..

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别说我的眼泪你无所谓 by 李圣杰
一个人在这个夜里
孤单得难以入睡
真的想找个人来陪
不愿意一个人喝醉
醉了以后就会流泪
数着你给的伤悲
为什么你总让我憔悴
别说我的眼泪你无所谓
看我流泪你头也不回
哭过了泪干了心变成灰
我想要的美你还不想给
伤了的我的心怎去面对
爱给了你我不后悔
只希望你给我一次机会
让我去追让我去飞
毕竟爱过的心需要安慰
需要你安慰