My Heart Bleeds.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Looking at her blog with their picture inside, cuts my heart.
I knew this was coming, yet... i still feel the pain within me.
I'm not crying, but my heart is bleeding.
They seems to be happy hanging out together.
Maybe.. He is happier with her.
Maybe, she can bring him more happiness.
Its ok.. Pain, is nothing to me anymore.
Tho i may cry, tho i am hurt. But time heals.
talking to janson, made me realise, i have been through this over and over again..
Whats new?
After crying, feeling hurt, i goes through another new cycle with another new man.
"You am not ugly, neither are you fat, you can get any man you want. Dun believe? Just call any guy friend you have and say you are sad, and you wish to go up to their place." He said.
"Female will always have the upper hands towards guy. Why do you wanna crawl and beg for just one man?" He explained.
But whatever he say, just wouldnt go into my mind.
Since i have.. said, leave everything to jan 2nd as i am too deeply in love with a man who doesnt love me.
He gave up trying to persuade me.
He gave up trying to cheer me up.
He gave up trying to talk sense into me.
Being hurt by man, has always been part of my life.
Finally, i begin to understand.
I am just too stubborn to change myself, thinking that this character of mine is the best for me.
i needa wake up. But easier said than done once again.
But.. i have promised myself..
No matter.. how hurt or how unwilling my heart feels on Jan 2nd,
As long as.. he didnt ask me to stay..
I will leave.
And I will never turn back.
I made a deadly vow for myself.
And.. i shall hate him forever..
I shall remember.. the pain he has inflicted on me.
I have tried my best during all these time..
And.. i will not regret.. as i have done my best.
I knew this was coming, yet... i still feel the pain within me.
I'm not crying, but my heart is bleeding.
They seems to be happy hanging out together.
Maybe.. He is happier with her.
Maybe, she can bring him more happiness.
Its ok.. Pain, is nothing to me anymore.
Tho i may cry, tho i am hurt. But time heals.
talking to janson, made me realise, i have been through this over and over again..
Whats new?
After crying, feeling hurt, i goes through another new cycle with another new man.
"You am not ugly, neither are you fat, you can get any man you want. Dun believe? Just call any guy friend you have and say you are sad, and you wish to go up to their place." He said.
"Female will always have the upper hands towards guy. Why do you wanna crawl and beg for just one man?" He explained.
But whatever he say, just wouldnt go into my mind.
Since i have.. said, leave everything to jan 2nd as i am too deeply in love with a man who doesnt love me.
He gave up trying to persuade me.
He gave up trying to cheer me up.
He gave up trying to talk sense into me.
Being hurt by man, has always been part of my life.
Finally, i begin to understand.
I am just too stubborn to change myself, thinking that this character of mine is the best for me.
i needa wake up. But easier said than done once again.
But.. i have promised myself..
No matter.. how hurt or how unwilling my heart feels on Jan 2nd,
As long as.. he didnt ask me to stay..
I will leave.
And I will never turn back.
I made a deadly vow for myself.
And.. i shall hate him forever..
I shall remember.. the pain he has inflicted on me.
I have tried my best during all these time..
And.. i will not regret.. as i have done my best.
posted by icy at 12/29/2005 12:10:00 AM
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