My Mood is going thru a roller coaster ride right now. Up and Down Up and Down.

and i'm trying to control it. =(

Thou shall not be depress.

Jane and Pal accompanied me to study the whole day.

But both of them were constantly fighting with each other on my bed while i was trying hard to concentrate.

(they fought for the bed coz both wanna ZZZ and i sleep on a single bed)

Nice hor?

They were hitting each other with my pillow and bloster. LOL....

and we kept eating throughout the day.

From lunch, to snacks to dinner.

lol..

our mouth had non-stop exercise today!

yada yada!

And i'm trying to control my mouth excerise now.. cause... viper say i now more chubby liao. (looking at the recent pics that i look)

HAIZ.. 我肥了！！！！！！！！！救命啊！！！！

The sport shoes that i was given, was left untouched for many many months.

When am i gonna break the virginity?

After my last test ba.

Who wanna pei me? LOL LOL.. i got no motivation if i do it alone.

Back to the main topic..

Trust.

After countless incidents of how man can lie, how man can behave and how man actually treat woman..

And a particular personal incident... plus many many "highlights" from my guy friends.

I can no longer trust man easily anymore.

I am not talking about friends.

I am talking about man as in man who has an interest to develop further.

In the past, i was naive, i was stupid.

In the past, i believe in everything he (noone in particular just he as in man) says.

But finally, that incident made me realise how much a fool i was to actually trust man that easily.

Afterwhich now...

Its so god damn difficult to earn my trust.

I doubt in everything he says - i see it as sweet talks, he say this to everyone.

I doubt in every actions that he does - i see it as, a gentleman being a gentleman will always do this to every girl that he knows. its nothing special.

I doubt in the sincerity. I doubt and doubt and doubt about everything.

I am becoming so cold-hearted that i cannot believe it myself either.

I can no longer be easily "moved" by anything.

And i have been pondering.. how will someone ever gain my trust if i'm turning into someone like that?

I seriously dunno how to answer that question.

I couldnt find an answer after many days of thinking.

I only could come to a conclusion - only time will tell.

Time will proof someone's sincerity.

If the liking is strong, Man will persist on regardless of the treatment he gets.

If that man gave up, then its not meant to be anyways.

But yet at the same time, time might tell lies. He might be at the same time going after another?

-.-" These are real scenerios that i have seen/heard/been thru before.

Tell me? how to trust when man are like that? -.-"

Introducing friends? they might be helping him to lie to.

Isnt that what friends are for? =/

I was once a culprit too, in helping a particular guy fren to lie to the girl when i knew he had more than one.

Yes, i'm cold hearted i'm paranoid if u see it this way, but thats the only way to protect the real one hidden inside.

I have seen enough, been thru enough.

So i guess, its gonna get real tough to earn my trust. This is what my friends and.. ex have been trying to tell me.

Do not trust people easily. And i finally learn them, after so many years.