What is Going On in My Life?
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
I no longer feels that i'm in control.
Everything is going haywire.
I'm losting control of my own actions, my own thinking, my own emotions.
I have been drinking extensively 3 days in a row.
I can feel that my body is feeling the effect for the first time.
And i really really.. feel that i needa do something about it.
This has been going on way too long.
but i shall not say much yet, as i dunno if i can do it with my own strength.
In the past, it was becoz i had someone else in my life, thats why i didnt club as much as now.
Now that i'm free, with noone controlling me, i lose control of myself.
What am i becoming?
It is scaring the shit out of me. I am drinking so much that friends are kinda amazed at the same time "shake their head"
My brain is screaming out to me "STOP BEFORE U DIE"
I can feel my gastric failing.
I can feel my body breaking down.
I cannot take care of myself afterall.
Do i really need to bring someone else in my life to set it back on path again?
我真的觉得我中了酒毒..
Sigh. -.-"
and 我也害了我的darling jane..
都是我的错。我是不良的少女。千万不要跟我做朋友。我可能会把你带到 THE DARK SIDE..
What is going on with me. Why Am i becoming like this?
Or am i like this since the begining? its just that it was never unleashed in the past?
Am i just too crazy?
No i need to change..
Someone save me.. i'm drowning at my own guiltiness of abusing my body.
I guess i seek condolence the wrong way and its hard for me to turn back on my own now..
Turning into a alcoholic bitch is .. not funny.
Everything is going haywire.
I'm losting control of my own actions, my own thinking, my own emotions.
I have been drinking extensively 3 days in a row.
I can feel that my body is feeling the effect for the first time.
And i really really.. feel that i needa do something about it.
This has been going on way too long.
but i shall not say much yet, as i dunno if i can do it with my own strength.
In the past, it was becoz i had someone else in my life, thats why i didnt club as much as now.
Now that i'm free, with noone controlling me, i lose control of myself.
What am i becoming?
It is scaring the shit out of me. I am drinking so much that friends are kinda amazed at the same time "shake their head"
My brain is screaming out to me "STOP BEFORE U DIE"
I can feel my gastric failing.
I can feel my body breaking down.
I cannot take care of myself afterall.
Do i really need to bring someone else in my life to set it back on path again?
我真的觉得我中了酒毒..
Sigh. -.-"
and 我也害了我的darling jane..
都是我的错。我是不良的少女。千万不要跟我做朋友。我可能会把你带到 THE DARK SIDE..
What is going on with me. Why Am i becoming like this?
Or am i like this since the begining? its just that it was never unleashed in the past?
Am i just too crazy?
No i need to change..
Someone save me.. i'm drowning at my own guiltiness of abusing my body.
I guess i seek condolence the wrong way and its hard for me to turn back on my own now..
Turning into a alcoholic bitch is .. not funny.
posted by icy at 7/03/2007 06:47:00 PM
