Complication
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
i'm tired of being carol.
i feel so suppressed.
suppressing the real me, the crazy me, the me that cannot be revealed to the world.
suppressing the one that disregards all rules and regulations of the world on how to be a good person a normal person..
i am always shouldering unnecessary commitment, rules, regulations, responsibility.
doing things that i shouldnt be even doing, being there for people that dun deserve my friendship.
going thru a round of mixed emotions, going thru a round of crazy emotions and going thru a round of what to do and what not to do.
letting go over everything is not something i wanna do.
putting down everything and just do what i wana do.. i dun have the guts.
chicken out, digging a hole.. shutting myself from the world...
who am i?
i'm tired.. really tired..
picking myself up from the deepest hole i pushed myself in..
yes. i pushed myself into that. i force myself into the dark.
i have to. to know whats impt, what is not.
to know who are the impt people i should keep beside me, to know.. who are the actual friends that are dependable and who are just there for fun.
in order to let myself see clearly, i need to push myself down from the cliff, and survived the fall and become a better person.
crazy, yes it is.
i'm extreme. very extreme.
i can do alot of crazy things, make alot of crazy unpredictable decisions that shocks everyone, even myself.
simply becoz... i'm a person that my friends can fall back on, if he/she ever suffers from anything in their life. so in order to be much stronger, i must first suffer.
suffer the unknown, suffer the pain, to grow up, to understand pain, so feel it all over again, becoz pain forces people to think and find ways to get out of it.
with pain.. it destroys all once behold happiness. it destroys a person and recreate a new one..
i'm in the process of recreation.
a better and stronger person.
give me time.. i need some time.
--
some pics.. from my week of crazy letting myself free.. drinking drinking!! miss my smiles? miss my face?
df night
my dar, one of the special person who has been giving me alot of support during the down period. thanks dar!
another special person that holds an equally important position. thank you..
meee.
random thou shall not pin my hair up again. i got kok tao forehead. =.=
i feel so suppressed.
suppressing the real me, the crazy me, the me that cannot be revealed to the world.
suppressing the one that disregards all rules and regulations of the world on how to be a good person a normal person..
i am always shouldering unnecessary commitment, rules, regulations, responsibility.
doing things that i shouldnt be even doing, being there for people that dun deserve my friendship.
going thru a round of mixed emotions, going thru a round of crazy emotions and going thru a round of what to do and what not to do.
letting go over everything is not something i wanna do.
putting down everything and just do what i wana do.. i dun have the guts.
chicken out, digging a hole.. shutting myself from the world...
who am i?
i'm tired.. really tired..
picking myself up from the deepest hole i pushed myself in..
yes. i pushed myself into that. i force myself into the dark.
i have to. to know whats impt, what is not.
to know who are the impt people i should keep beside me, to know.. who are the actual friends that are dependable and who are just there for fun.
in order to let myself see clearly, i need to push myself down from the cliff, and survived the fall and become a better person.
crazy, yes it is.
i'm extreme. very extreme.
i can do alot of crazy things, make alot of crazy unpredictable decisions that shocks everyone, even myself.
simply becoz... i'm a person that my friends can fall back on, if he/she ever suffers from anything in their life. so in order to be much stronger, i must first suffer.
suffer the unknown, suffer the pain, to grow up, to understand pain, so feel it all over again, becoz pain forces people to think and find ways to get out of it.
with pain.. it destroys all once behold happiness. it destroys a person and recreate a new one..
i'm in the process of recreation.
a better and stronger person.
give me time.. i need some time.
--
some pics.. from my week of crazy letting myself free.. drinking drinking!! miss my smiles? miss my face?
df night
my dar, one of the special person who has been giving me alot of support during the down period. thanks dar!
another special person that holds an equally important position. thank you..
meee.
random thou shall not pin my hair up again. i got kok tao forehead. =.=
posted by icy at 8/04/2009 01:22:00 AM
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