hur. it was PMS that made me cried the day before. lol..

Anyhow...

I discover my bad habit when i get high.

I kept asking ppl to drink and drink and drink and.................................

MUAHAHA!

Jane asked me earlier i ytd high liao right.

I told her i dunno.

She say confirm LOR coz.. I KEEP ASKING PEOPLE AROUND ME TO DRINK!

she bth. MUAHAHA~

Fred kanna, jane kanna, mandy kanna, and i met a bunch of new ppl, whom i think i forgotten who are they and they forgotten who am i but hack, its just for the fun of the night.

I also saw my ex-sec sch mates who are my first bf's classmates + my NYP polymates + Pris Ex colleague Daniel. WAH world very small! They were wondering why i know so many people. MUAHAHA.

PH was boring initally.. but after rounds and rounds of alcohol, the night became more fun. LOL..

By the end of the night, jane and i were kinda high. Thankfully fred sent us back. Thanks sweetie, you're the man! =P

We were at vivocity as jane and fred had not have their dinner yet.. A thai restaurant! but i forgot the name of it. but their food is fabulous! Located along Sushi Tei's row of shops!



Fred the man. LOL..



Jane had Tom Yam Bee Hoon.



Fred had Minced Pork with Basil Leaves.



Headed down to PH after dinner. hee...

Yeah, as usual, Mambo-ed ytd.

But..... it was boringggggggggggggg~~~~~~~~~~~~ for god knows what reason~

-.-~

we stayed till only 2am... and left.

Is it becoz we didnt drink?

or was it becoz of the crowd?

It wasnt as "happening" as compared to last week.

The crowd was kinda of slow... as in.. they wasnt really dancing till around 12. the mambo platform was only filled at around 12+..

Bah...

And clubbing is gonna get boring by July 1st.. COZ THE BAN IS ON! FUCK MAN!

=.=

I AM NOT HAPPY WITH THAT!

NOW I HAVE TO GO OUT OF THE CLUB JUST TO SMOKE NEXT TIME I CLUB! GRRRRRRRRRr...

anyhow, i've started Diet + Healthy lifestyle.

Yesterday only had 1 meal (in the end at night i ate a prata. =(~ )

Today, woke up and immediately went swimming with moi friend at his brother condo. (w/o any food)

The whole pool belongs to us.

and there's 2 side. i only manage to take pics of one side only.

woohooo and we "swim" (actually is play with water la..) from 1 to 330pm and left.. coz i was so freaking hungry.

Haiz, and i still have not mastered the art of threading water.

lagi sianz. =/

and i very scared of 1.5m and above. SHIT.

-.-"

He says i need more experience in the water.... so..

Tml i'm gg again! with another friend. but this time to the public pool!

i wanna master the art of swimming!!!!!!

And ya~ i only had 1 meal today again! =)

There's more to come..

I needa slim down fast, and get the body i always dreamt of.

we~ before entering zouky.



The Pool~



I was on my way to sleep.. when I cried.

tears rolling down and suddenly i felt that i needa let go of the pretendous me trying to be strong.

I think my hormones are playing a part to this cranky me.

Out of a sudden, its hurting all over again. Why?..

I suddenly remembered the last day and i dunno why.

The day where i cried hard @ mac while studying(for the first time in my life not including days when i was a kid). where i stopped my emotions from ruling my head and made the decision of not turning back when i know i had this one chance if i asked to stay.

ha. i'm a bitch. and i know it. Such a loser i am.

I hate myself for being fickle, for being emo, for being such a bitch.

Trying to sleep off this me, good nite..

Flipping through my histories..

I went thru month by month.

Images came in one by one.

I didnt know i have blogged for almost 2 years.

I didnt know the makeover was 1 year old.

I didnt know how much stuffs i have forgotten till i went thru my posts.

Time flies eh?..

Why did i start blogging?

Cause i have serious STM.

I forgot everything about floyd.

I forgot everything about alvin.

I forgot this i forgot that.

Plus.. i love to pen down my feelings somewhere.

Tho i have a personal diary.. which was not updated frequently unless i really am depressed.

I love to read thru my past as and when.. to remind me of how i feel on that particular day.. that particular moment..

To recall, the good, the bad and the ugly.

To see how my life turns and turns at each different stages in life and how i used to leave little msgs around.

I feel so fortunate, to have jane and brianca walked together with me, thru the ups and downs in my life.

At the same time, i felt a little heartache, and foolishness on my part.

My Blog, a memory space for me.

To remind me of things i have done.

To remind me of how i lead my life.

To remind me of.. who are the persons involved in it.

To let me remember the memories..

I PASS! YIPPY~ NO MORE TEST FROM NOW ONWARDS. YADA YADA! *GRINZ*

Things to do:

1) Re-arrange my wordrobe.

2) Stop Shopping extensively. (I NEED TO STOP! MY ACC NO MORE $$$!)

3) Jog 2 times a week - at least 30mins (and increase as time goes)

4) Learn Swimming (hee... i just needa learn how to thread the freaking water)

5) Blade at least once a week.

6) If possible.. learn diving?

Hmm..

these are things i need to do. Freak man, the weights that i manage to shed off thru out the 2 years, is growing back again within 2months. Guess my life is kinda of nice and comfy right now.

I guess i need some heartaches to stop myself from eating. MUAHAHA.

Anyone wanna try getting into it and hurting it?

thats the fastest way for me to lost weight leh. =/

I NEEDA LEARN TO TRAIN MY DETERMINATION.........................

IF NOT I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO START JOGGING.....................

=(

A good start, thurs gonna get my fren to teach me how to thread water first. hur hur..

Pray hard i dun drown for i heard the fastest way to learn that is to be thrown into the deep pool and swim without any help. =.=

The thought of it scares me. lol.

But for the sake of my body......

Nothing else matters. =D

If only i have $ then i'll go for a liposuction!!!!!! =X hassel free and Fast~ =X

THOU SHALL TRAIN MY DETERMINATION TO BE FIT AND HEALTHY! HUMPF.

i dunno how long i will last... as i always...... 三分钟热度..

(If i can change myself from a love freak to a loveless freak, i can do anything. therefore, i believe i can do it. I THINK. lol.. )

Please Please pray hard for me..

I dun wanna fail my last paper.

Its the last one.. I dun wanna retake this last paper..

*pray hard*

Today pei floyd go see doctor, after putting him aeroplane for 3 times..

(floyd u better appreciate hor, i is 牺牲 my study time pei u go sia..)

hur. I is blur, i didnt know NSC is next to TTSH.

we were at novena and i board a cab thinking that NSC very very far. MUAHAHA~

Taxi Uncle was Shocked when i say Skin centre and told me its just next to TTSH.

PAI SEH SIA...

After which i rushed home to study.

Haiz, my confidence level dropped to the minimal when i tried the MCQ questions.

Jia lat, alot of wrongs.

I hope tml i'm lucky and my gut feel is working.

LOL..

Pics!





A pic to let u all laugh. MUAHAHA.

I look weird. but hack. =P its different. LOL LOL..~ my face is CHUBBY! Anyone wanna pinch IT?!

Damn, DIET DIET DIET!

My Mood is going thru a roller coaster ride right now. Up and Down Up and Down.

and i'm trying to control it. =(

Thou shall not be depress.

Jane and Pal accompanied me to study the whole day.

But both of them were constantly fighting with each other on my bed while i was trying hard to concentrate.

(they fought for the bed coz both wanna ZZZ and i sleep on a single bed)

Nice hor?

They were hitting each other with my pillow and bloster. LOL....

and we kept eating throughout the day.

From lunch, to snacks to dinner.

lol..

our mouth had non-stop exercise today!

yada yada!

And i'm trying to control my mouth excerise now.. cause... viper say i now more chubby liao. (looking at the recent pics that i look)

HAIZ.. 我肥了！！！！！！！！！救命啊！！！！

The sport shoes that i was given, was left untouched for many many months.

When am i gonna break the virginity?

After my last test ba.

Who wanna pei me? LOL LOL.. i got no motivation if i do it alone.

Back to the main topic..

Trust.

After countless incidents of how man can lie, how man can behave and how man actually treat woman..

And a particular personal incident... plus many many "highlights" from my guy friends.

I can no longer trust man easily anymore.

I am not talking about friends.

I am talking about man as in man who has an interest to develop further.

In the past, i was naive, i was stupid.

In the past, i believe in everything he (noone in particular just he as in man) says.

But finally, that incident made me realise how much a fool i was to actually trust man that easily.

Afterwhich now...

Its so god damn difficult to earn my trust.

I doubt in everything he says - i see it as sweet talks, he say this to everyone.

I doubt in every actions that he does - i see it as, a gentleman being a gentleman will always do this to every girl that he knows. its nothing special.

I doubt in the sincerity. I doubt and doubt and doubt about everything.

I am becoming so cold-hearted that i cannot believe it myself either.

I can no longer be easily "moved" by anything.

And i have been pondering.. how will someone ever gain my trust if i'm turning into someone like that?

I seriously dunno how to answer that question.

I couldnt find an answer after many days of thinking.

I only could come to a conclusion - only time will tell.

Time will proof someone's sincerity.

If the liking is strong, Man will persist on regardless of the treatment he gets.

If that man gave up, then its not meant to be anyways.

But yet at the same time, time might tell lies. He might be at the same time going after another?

-.-" These are real scenerios that i have seen/heard/been thru before.

Tell me? how to trust when man are like that? -.-"

Introducing friends? they might be helping him to lie to.

Isnt that what friends are for? =/

I was once a culprit too, in helping a particular guy fren to lie to the girl when i knew he had more than one.

Yes, i'm cold hearted i'm paranoid if u see it this way, but thats the only way to protect the real one hidden inside.

I have seen enough, been thru enough.

So i guess, its gonna get real tough to earn my trust. This is what my friends and.. ex have been trying to tell me.

Do not trust people easily. And i finally learn them, after so many years.

stress stress stress stress stress..

tues test again.

i got never ending tests.

thankfully its the last one if i pass.

grrr grrr..

whenever i stress i tend to feel damn freaking alone.

why why why?

and i'll start remembering things i dun wanna recall that makes me feel even more alone.

angry.

hate it when i become like that.

grr grr grr..

Why am i such an attention seeking bitch that needs constant TLC?

Why cant i be alone?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Its one of my mood swings again. -.-"

to Self "you have already gone thru these few mths, you can do it. Preserve on, and you will see a different you, a better you. What Doesnt Kill You Makes You Stronger."

I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT, I'M HOME ON A FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

什么鬼~

不能出门的感觉真不爽！！！！！！！！

为什么我有考不完的式~ 读不完的书！！！

我现在应该再 MOS 或 RUMORS 跳舞喝酒的 lor！！！

**扁嘴**

好像小孩子hor?

没办法，人老心不老！HAHAHA~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

突然之间，我发觉到，我不想听到你的名字，不想知道你的消息，不想知道任何关于你的东西，为什么？

一听到关于你的事情，我就会叫那个人不要说了，我不想听，也不想知道。

已经没有那种冲动，想知道你的东西，想知道你过得好不好，想知道是否有了新的人在你身旁。

这代表什么呢？

我恨你？不对啊。。

我真不知道我到底在想设么。

心理感觉麻麻的，好像没什么感觉。。

没有痛，没有伤心。

只感觉，一种平静而孤独的心。

这种可能就是单身的心吧？

看到身旁的朋友一个一个为情所困， 我很庆幸我已不需要过那种生活。

那种无时无刻伤心， 无时无刻担心有一天你的另一半会变心。

吵架时，你的那天就被那个争执给影响，做什么事都提不起精神。心情也因为感情而起伏不定。

我害怕那种日子，真的好害怕。。

那种没有安全感的日子。那种被争执所影响心情的日子。

单身让我看到了以前的自己，那个担心受怕的自己，那个没有自性的自己。

也看到了为他付出的自己， 为他流泪的自己， 曾经深爱他的自己。

这一切的一切，都浮现在我脑海里。。

情 - 会一个让人失去自我的。

而我就因为情，失去了自己。

YES, its her birthday (again) MUAHAHA~

Come to think of it, i have celebrated your birthday 3 times already?

Time flies eh?

LOL LOL~

Gave her a nice surprise at KTV. Hee..

We bought a cake, and i left it at the counter as i came late due to some errands.

Afterwhile at around 11, i went out with the excuse of going to the ladies and asked the waiter to bring in the cake.

After about 5 mins, Partyworld changed our song to happy birthday song and came in with the cake. So nice!

See girl, i so thoughtful ok? =X Quick, love me more. MUAHAHAHA.

And we bought an extremely special present for her. *Laugh Loudly*

(Hope it spice things up a little.. MUAHAHAHAA~)

Sang till 12am!

and good hearted RS send all of us home! (hmm.. for a moment, some memories came back a little. Hee.)

Its been a long time since i last see ya~

Thanks so much for the ride home! =D (wonder if he still reads my blog, but anyhow, i should be polite to say thanks)

How can we not cam whore?

*grinz* Pics!

I dun need to name them do i? hee..

I think my camera spoil liao..... the right side got one blur dot in almost all of the pics.. i wonder why..





A Kiss for the Birthday Girl







I cannot remember which song was the one that they went wild.. MUAHAHAHA~



The Birthday Girl with Her Surprise Cake.







Blow the candle away~..







Fierce...



While Jane was Singing... LOL..



Last but not least! MY OWN! =X



我的亲爱的！生日快乐！！！

你要幸福哦！


P.S: i took an executive pic at Picture Me, and it sux big time with the lady keep saying its nice its nice when i feel it look horrible. Now i have to rush to retake a passport size pic tomorrow morning. fucked up. If Anyone of you wanna take an executive picture. DO NOT take at Picture Me (Located Next to Eng Wah Cinema, Suntec). If you DO, remember NOT to let this lady who has long hair and in specs. SHE SUX.

I PASS!!!!!!! I PASS!!!!!!!!!

Next paper on the 26th June. Yada.

Hope i shun shun pass la~ =D

And The no clubbing was immediately broken today.

I got no determination sia.. lol lol..

Went Zouky today to semi-celebrate that i pass.

but i guai I nv drink much (2 jugs of Vodka Ribena shared with Jane and Man Man)

hee.. and I realise. i have alcohol allergy. My body turns one patch red one patch white after just a few sips of alcohol.

WAHAHAHA.....

Taking my retest tomorrow.

Please lend me all your luck for tomorrow. (i dun wanna fail again!!!!!!!!)

Out of a sudden, all the clothes that i have purchased arrived this week.

Now i got so many new clothes which i have not wore.

But i'm happy! after waiting for almost 2mths for them.

MUAHAHA~

Now i am left with f21 that is yet to arrive. *grinz*

Oh, and i am gonna make this week a healthy week.

No clubbing this week as i needa let my liver rest.

My liver has been working extensively for almost 2 weeks.

I scared it might break down soon.

LOL LOL..

This is bad....

I wonder if its dying? *CHOY~*

I'm going to the Zoo Zoo Zoo~

How About You You You?

You Can Come too too too,

We are Going to the Zoo Zoo Zoo!

A trip to the Zoo with Yx!

I have been trying to get someone to go with me since a long time ago.. But always didnt end up going.

Anyhow, i managed to go today with Yx as he too was looking for someone to go with him!!!!!

So Happy! But.. i didnt wake up in time. HAHAHA.

So we were delayed.. by 2hrs (from our plans)

Reached the Zoo around 1pm.. and started our Zoo tour!

Saw a lot of animals, the only one that stink was the Rino. =/ (it was unbearable)

The Zoo was clean, hardly any stinko and with a fair bit of animal shows!

God was kind on us, as it only start to rain at 530pm (after the last animal show. lol)

However, i missed the white tiger and a few other animals. (zzz... heard the white tiger was beautiful..)

But overall, its worth the 15buck! (except.. cannot smoke freely.... =X)

yada~ tons of pics! Beware!

I dunno whats the name of this, but they are cute!!!



Pink Flamingo!



Polar Bear!!!!! He is so Magnificent!!!!!



These Penguins are cute~ and they go in a group. hahaha~



The Smelly rino..



Zebras!



This Cute little thing caught my eye.



I wish one day, my prince charming will ride in this and take me away... (as if) lol!



These are my "brothers" and "sisters" the pigs. LOL.



Miniure Pony~ with the kid! so cute!



Yx and moi!



While waiting for the Animal show.. We got bored. lol..



Its obvious he dun really like me. Middle finger sia..



Weather very hot, i tied my hair. lol.. for a while. =X



Yes, i know, u are much taller, so dun show off. -.- lol lol..



His hands not long enough.. lol!



While waiting for the polar bear feeding time.



I think we lost our way... LOL..



The goat was nibbling at his fingers! (and he say it feels good. -.-")



A shot that was supposed to be taken together with him.. but he's lousy at aiming that it ended up with me only. but hack. i look nice here. LOL~



After Zooy, we went to look for my sweetie Jane! @ J8!



Tiring but worthwhile.

The last time i step into the Zoo wasnt a good one as i freak out (becoz i went to night safari)

Too scary! =.=

I prefer the day time. i can see them clearly.

it was fabulous. i truly enjoyed the trip.

Altho the animal shows... did try their best to entertain us with their tricks, but i guess, it only works for the kids. haha.

How i wish, i would still be a child. The trip to the Zoo would be full of surprises. =)

恶魔在身边你看了吗？

http://www.emzsb.cn/

杨丞琳和贺军翔主演。

他们出新片了！



贺军翔好帅哦！！！！！！！！！

*drools*~

i love them as a couple alot!

You can watch this series over at

http://www.tudou.com/playlist/playindex.do?lid=758484&mode=0#6375063

its still new. therefore there's only a few episodes. heee..~

Consecutively 2 days, i have clubbed till 8am.

i broke my record for clubbing.

damn.

I'm dead. i think i am immune to martel.

no matter how much i drink i cannot get high. i only get red. -.-~

is my liver still working? i hope so.

i think i'll die much much early than most people. =.=

lol...

this time round, i joined another group. who open my eyes to other clubs.

on fri, after MOSing, we went "Living Room" located at Marriott hotel then... after that... (which is 6am..) they wanted to continue at "rave" located in BQ. But in the end we didnt went in as we need to pay cover. =/

On sat, we went gallery hotel first then MOs, then I Rumours (ex-este)

hurrrrrr.. met alot of new clubbers! =D

hee..

On friday,



After Breakfast.. at BQ!

Jane and i was taking a shot when conrad came into the pic. LOL..



Jane and Ken



Jane Ken and Conrad!



Me Ken and Conrad!



On sat, after i rumour @ Xin Wang (cineleisure)



right side - Jessica, ken's fren from M'sia! She's a damn good drinker!



I nearly concussed at xin wang as i ran out of battery. I was feeling damn lethargic!

as they say.. "Finally the energiser bunny ran out of battery"

yada. =/ and i slept throughout the journey home.

tired tired tired... i need more sleep.