As the year is coming to an end.. and im sleepless @ 4am..

its a good time to refresh memories and think back on what has happen this yr, what have i learnt and how to make 2011 a better year than it is now.

this year tons has happen. what made it sad was i loss the majority of the friends that i hang out on a daily basis in yr 2009. however, to made up to that lost, i found back some friends, gotten closer to some others.

lesson learn for frens is - its their own life, whatever they wanna do and whatever decision that they wanna made is their own god damn problem. its non of your biz in the very first place.

its funny how things become, where people choose decision that clearly its not to their benefit, and yet they just wanna go ahead with it because of the emotional attachment that comes with it.

i realise i get affected by people who makes naive decision that made them look stupid. perhaps on certain extend im a little too rational.

Another lesson learn regarding friends is - stay away from people who only think for themselves and people who are pretensious. trust my god damn instinct!

yes yes.. i "tear" away some mask, and realise how rotten the inside are.. the selfishness, the pretensious.. just makes me feel like avoiding such people. gives me the creeps, makes me feel nausea. as much as i wish to remove them/him from my life, i fucking cant. OHH how i wish god help me by taking him away.. *cross my fingers.

Regarding love..

Found the man of my life, with slight ups and downs..
he, who brought laughter and warm to my life.. also brought routine to my life. its.. the major barrier that i must go thru.. since i am one who hates routine the most.


regarding work..

work..... work.... work is the same every yr. fail to hit QC once again, but on a happier note, i hit my bonus. im also exploring ideas on working part time for event coordination since its my interest. hopefully jon will be able to rope me in for his events. =)

regarding self..

moi? my long lost friend commented, im still the same old me 10yrs ago. yess. im still the same. perhaps.. difference is im older by 1 yr now.

learning to let go of things easier.. and to take friends less impt like i use to.
its painful when people whom i care choose to treat me a lesser being.
its painful when people whom i care choose to be selfish on me.

afterall that has been said..

i realise year 2010 is the year of problems on friends.

after searching for the meaning of friends... on dictionary.com
/frɛnd/ Show Spelledquoted from:
http://festivals.iloveindia.com/friendship-day/friendship-meaning.html

"True friendship is perhaps the only relation that survives the trials and tribulations of time and remains unconditional. A unique blend of affection, loyalty, love, respect, trust and loads of fun is perhaps what describes the true meaning of friendship. Similar interests, mutual respect and strong attachment with each other are what friends share between each other. These are just the general traits of a friendship. To experience what is friendship, one must have true friends, who are indeed rare treasure.
Friendship is a feeling of comfort and emotional safety with a person. It is when you do not have to weigh your thoughts and measure words, before keeping it forth before your friend. It is when someone knows you better than yourself and assures to be your side in every emotional crisis. It is when you can sleep fighting and get another morning with a better understanding. Friendship is much beyond roaming together and sharing good moments, it is when someone comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life. Friendship is eternal."

being there for people @ their worst phase, only to be treated like dirt the next moment, i guess those aint friends to being with.

eyes open wider, bring lesser people that close to the heart, was one of the lesson learn this yr.

I am still making lots of wonderful friends, but perhaps, i should not bring everyone that close to my heart afterall.