A Brand New Year, With A Brand New Start, And a Brand New Me.

What Doesnt Kills Me Makes Me Stronger.

I am Stronger once again!

There's a spot that lingers.

No matter how hard i have tried,

No matter how much time have passed,

It just wouldnt disappear.

It will always be there without fail.

Is it good or bad having a spot there?

I wonder.

Will the spot disappear someday?

I wonder.

Years has passed, not once it has been stained.

The spot still remains as it is.

Frighten of facing it, frighten of touching it...

Yet....

Its a spot that will never be able to be removed....

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Zouk with my babes over at zouk on friday! Its been a longggggg time since pris babe joined us! Miss her soooooooo much!



Out dining with terry dear and jane darling over at alforno! =D



This is their warm chocolate lava cake! OMG its heavenly!!! but.. their tiramisu is still my favourite! =D i'm loyal!



Went to look for my wlny pals over at the ktv pub in Gardens. me and Mango!

i have said.

i am going to club 3 times this week.

today i'm at zouk.

i came home early coz.. i wasnt feeling too good.

i'm terribly upset. to the extend that i feel like letting myself out.

getting myself high and drunk.

but no i didnt.

i dun wanna turn back to the carol 3months ago.

I almost blacked out again earlier.

sigh.

It doesnt feel good to almost black out.

So tired, that i just wish to sit down and sleep.

And yes, i'm going clubbing again tomorrow.

Its gonna be DBL O.

They said it has been renovated and the crowd is better.

i wonder how true it is?

No i am not turning back into the alcoholic bitch.

I just like i said earlier, end it with a bang.

Furthermore i'm freaking free this weekend anyway.

So might as well get a feel how i used to lead my life?

sigh.

i'm so terribly upset, that i just wanna get away from everything.

Take me away... pls..

http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/

At this time in your life you feel like 'giving up'. For every time you have tried to build up your hopes and dreams something has come along to burst the balloon. You may feel that, at this particular moment in your life, there seems to be no chance of fulfilling these dreams but you are so wrong. You are the sort of person that can influence any situation, that is - If you don't give up. So consciously make the effort... You have that inherent power to succeed.

You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. Don't be so impulsive. It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. Ease up a little.

For some time now it would seem that you have been frustrated and emotionally inhibited. The circumstances which appear to be beyond your control are making it very difficult for you to develop the detached emotional attitude that you seek.

Nobody seems to understand you at this moment for everything you suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as you would like it to be - you feel that you are being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from you and that you are being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. You consider yourself being denied the appreciation essential to your well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing you can do about it. You feel that whatever you try to do to change the situation, you are getting nowhere fast. You would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

The tensions and stresses that you are experiencing at this time are, you feel, beyond your capabilities or your reserves of strength to cope with. You feel inadequate and in a constant state of anxiety.You are attempting to escape from this situation into a secure environment in which you may be permitted to relax and recover, free from outside interference.

http://www.colorquiz.com/
Your Existing Situation

Non-realization of hopes and the inability to decide on necessary remedial action has resulted in considerable stress.

Your Stress Sources

Delights in the tasteful, the gracious, and the sensitive, but maintains her attitude of critical appraisal and refuses to be swept off her feet unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she must know exactly where she stands. Demands complete sincerity as a protection against her own tendency to be too trusting.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Trying to calm down and unwind after a period of over-agitation which has left her listless and devoid of energy. In need of peace and quiet; becomes irritable if this is denied him.Emotionally inhibited. Feels forced to compromise, making it difficult for her to form a stable emotional attachment

Your Desired Objective

Feels too much is being asked of her and is tired out, but still wants to overcome her difficulties and establish herself despite the effect such an effort would house on her. Proud, but redesigned in her attitude. Needs recognition, security, and fewer problems

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so true.. =/

i need a break.

I'm all again..

tired.

afraid.

i need a hole.

to hide.

Maybe i should take a weekend off from everyone.

yeah, maybe i should.

Its been such a longgggggggggggggggggggggggggg time since i last step into zouk.

I really have tamed myself down alot alot.

From 3 times a week to once every 2-3weeks ....

I really really have changed.

Moreover.. i no longer drinks as much as i used to.

When was the last time i get pissed drunk?

5months ago?

i think so.

have to flip back my blog to confirm.

oh, the last time.. was in june!

Time flies eh?

to think that.. just 6mths ago.. i was a alcoholic bitch who do nothing but drink my life away for 3-4months.

yada! i think all my friends ... are happy that i'm no longer that alcoholic bitch. =P

anyhowww...

i finally stepped into zouk again.

YX asked where i disappeared to.

haha. PS la, been too ... sianz of gg down clubbing.

but seriously, i miss mambo alot.

however, i feel mahjong-ing is more impt than clubbing.. so ya.

Did i mention.. my new found hobbit is mahjong? LOL!

The music was great today! excellent! however i didnt manage to wait for my dancing queen. =(

I had gastric attack.. and had to leave early. if not i would definitely stayed till 3!

most likely... i'll club my 2007 away to remind me of the days in 2007.

lets end 2007 with a bang! and yes! a big bang with tons of alcohol and music! =D

Pictures!!!!

Before heading out



lalalala~



IT WAS FUCKING SQUEEZY...... OMG.. heng we have privilege if not........ we can forget about going in. =.=



I was with.. yes! jane and mandy!



us and us and more of us~









with zouk staff - YX



With Zouk staff - Thomas



With Zouk PR Manager - Sofian





Came back home at 3am~!

Once in a while clubbing.. is much more fun than gg every week. =D

Merry Christmas everyone~

Hope you guys enjoyed this festive season of giving!

As for mine, it wasn't that great due to some.. well. some.. issues.

It reminds me of the Christmas i had... 2 years ago.

Well.. i was unhappy too.

Am i unreasonable?

or..

Am i .. not understanding enough to understand other's actions or thoughts?

I'm pretty upset.. but... sighz. nvm.

Things ..... are not as peaceful as it seems anymore.

I wonder where's the root of the problem?

Or am i thinking too much?

I seriously... wonder..

Pictures to share.

Just Finish dressing up for christmas countdown.



My new dress~



In the lift




Jane and i in lift. lol.



Jane and i in the toilet~



Ying Moi and jane!





It seems that.. i am recently, gloomy and angry almost every other day.

My life.. going thru a downturn eh?

A fren of mine, has been asking me to accompany him to shop for his upcoming singing competition.

We couldnt make any arrangement till this morning.

I slept at 5am.

Woke up at 915.

He called me and i told him i slept at 5 but i still can go with him, coz i have another arrangement in town after his shopping.

i forced myself to wake up and get prepared.

waited till 1040, but he wasnt here yet.

Decides to sms him.. only to discover.. HE FUCKING WENT TOWN ALREADY.

WHAT THE FUCK MAN.

I WOKE UP, GET MYSELF PREPARED, WENT DOWN TO BUY CONTACT LENS, ONLY TO BE PUT AEROPLANE? THANKS MAN!

His reasons was - he wanted me to sleep more.

but i already fucking tell him, i need to go town anyway, so its ok.

MY WORDS VERY DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND?

sorry for all the .. vulgarities... i just couldnt contain my anger.

i just hate - HATE HATE HATE.. at the last last minute, someone dua me.

couldnt he just send an sms? telling me to go ahead and sleep?

fuck man. i am so fucking angry that i cannot go back to sleep.

this is sooooooooooooooooooo irritating can!

AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SMS ME AND INFORM ME LA.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

i is not enough sleep. i put in effort and to kanna dua. i dun think anyone in my shoes will not be angry.

UNLESS U ARE VERY VERY VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PATIENT.

Unfortunately, i'm not.

so therefore. I AM FREAKING PISSED OFF WITH HIM NOW!

I wonder..

Is it wrong to be selfish?

Is it right to be selfless?

Is there a right and wrong in the first place?

What makes it right? and what makes it wrong?

Some.. says that i am a selfish person - only thinking about myself.

Some.. says that i am thoughtful.. - always thinking for others.

I am.. half half.

I admit that i am selfish.

Who is not selfish in the world? (unless u are god)

Somehow, as we grow up, we begin to think for ourselves.

As, it is a dog eat dog world out there.

Noone protects u if u do not know how to protect yourself.

As u begin to protect yrself, u begin to become a little selfish.

Why the sudden post of this?

Because, i feel that today, i have the extreme selfish thoughts again.

I am trying to express myself so that.. i will let go of this negativeness.

It doesnt feels good as i know its a very.. negative thought that i have.

I couldnt tell anyone either, becoz i know it is wrong for me to feel so.

Buried deep inside my heart, its something that i will never express it to anyone.

Becoz... i feel so disgusted about I having about these thoughts.

Somehow.. i couldnt stop myself.

Each time.. when things happen, i will definitely have this sore feeling.

It sucks big time.

I am really trying hard to kick this selfish habit of mine.. alone.

Becoz i jolly well know... this is a fucked up selfish habit of mine that will "kills" something along the way.

i am somehow.. so fucked up can.

=(

fucked up fucked up fucked up!

Yes, its one of those gloomy days again..

I think my blog is gonna turn into a photo blog. becoz of my new phone! MUAHAHA~

I did this on my own! Ying painted it for me, the stickers and jewels are all done by myself~ *proud* hahaha~



Moi at ying place waiting for mj to start.. now i am playing mj every week..



Sy and moi after "Warlords"!



Ying and brianca after Mj yesterday~ suppering at 401. hehe.



And last but not least..



Guess who? LOL~

I'm cute right! =X

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Finally its out!!!!!!!!!!



HAHAHA~ Has been waiting for it for soooooooooo long.

湘琴是一个单纯开朗的高中女学生，自从在开学典礼上看见代表新生致词的江直树后，便不由自主地喜欢上这个号称IQ 200 的超级天才少年——号称全台湾第一的天才直树。湘琴的出现就像一个失控的龙卷风，将直树原有的生活搞得天翻地覆，而湘琴对他的感情也在不知不觉中慢慢地渗入他心中。在父母与好友的推波助澜，也在两人合力解决直树父亲的企业难题之后，直树终于接受湘琴，和她走入结婚的礼堂，而故事就从两人的婚后展开……

To watch the first episode:

http://www.youtube.com/profile_videos?p=r&user=acmilansoccer999&page=1

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Met up with the girls for dinner.

As i have said earlier..

camwhore~!









lalalala. We just love taking pics.

=P

Happy Birthday Girl! =D

Pre-Celebrated her birthday on Saturday~at pasir ris theme park!

she was so excited.. that during the night before while mahjong-ing..

she keeps repeating and repeating about the trip the next day. =.=

Jane and i nearly was irritated by her. lol.

It was their 7th anniversary.. and 3 rides was down due to maintenance.. however, we got the ticks at only 7per pax and they gave us a complementary ticks for us to go over again! =D

Tons of people were there.. and sad to say, most of the ride are so boring. =/

i only enjoyed viking among all. just simply love the feeling of my heart nearly pop out. haha.

After which we head down gardens for dinner and ktv-ing!

pics!

Us - before going to meet them at the entrance



Darling girl and moi~



Outside the ticket booth



All of us~ while queuing..



Before viking..



At the Ktv~



The Birthday Girl with her bottle of martel which almost half ended up in her stomach.



The Girls



After the cutting the cake.. dismemberment of the decoration. lol.



Everything ended at 1am.. with Ying so blotted with green tea, alcohol and dinner in her stomach.

lol.. she ended up home being a merlion at 1+

While i, came back home after sending her back since we stayed near to each other. =D

Imagine a world without having to love.

what would it be like?

With love, comes jealousy, together with Heartache, tears and pain.

Yes, definitely, with love, comes wonderful things - joy, laughter, care and concern.

What if, we could only have the feeling of loving friends and family only? we still get joy, laughter care and concern isnt?

How would the world be like?

Without needing to find someone u love, to "generate the next generation"..

Then you will not have.. relatives coming after you.. with questions like...

"have bf/gf already?"

"when getting married?"

"aiyo, so old liao still no bf/gf ah?"

you will not have to go thru tons of heartaches.. just to find the final one..

which also might not be the final one..

With love.. we cried a million times. We pain a thousand times. We ache for most of the time.

Afraid of getting hurt. Afraid of loving.

thats what people feels.. after being hurt for a thousand times.

Why do a couple comes together only to realise things are not meant to be at the final stage?

Why do we start something yet knowingly.. we knew somehow we will get hurt in the process?

Love is contradicting isnt?

We, are afraid of loving, yet at the same time, we yield to be love.

We, are afraid of giving, yet at the same time, we wish to be protected and cared for.

We, knew love comes with hurt and pain, yet at the same time, we still sink into one to enjoy the process of "being in love"

We, argued, to know each other better.

We, disagree, to know what each other is thinking.

We have to go through painful processes only to discover if he/she is the one.

Some takes once or twice..

Some goes thru time after time, and yet couldnt find the right one.

My love, My Fate.

Are you the one?

Finally bought my new phone yesterday.

And my old phone died on me immediately on the spot. =.=

i lost all my contacts. this is soooooooooooooooooo shitty..!

Pls sms me yr hp number peeps!

but anyhow, i'm a happy girl! For a moment.. becoz.. now i'm broke!

coz i started my driving lessons (again~)

=/

i only left 1.5months till my test date which is on the 5th of Feb next year. =.=~

Needa go earn more money now. =.=

DIG~

grr grr..

Pictures!



My New k810i~ 3.2mega pixel! WEEE~ MORE CAMWHORE FROM NOW ONWARDS! MUAHAHAHA!





Tried the Cam before gg out!



Look at my eye lashes! ahaha~ my 2nd time wearing them!



Liying and i~ we went chinatown for dinner and some window shopping!



Together with Darling Julina! =D



yeah, we were at the bra section... hahahaha~

After that we decided to catch a movie at GV Plaza.

"The Golden Compass" is fantastic! (Maybe i'm a Fantasy fantic) but i love the plot and the flow of the movie. It doesnt feels draggy at all.

Unlike Heartbreak kid which we watched on monday.

Finally got home at 1230.. and i'm feeling mentally and physically worn off.

I have not been able to sleep properly for 3 days starting from the night at Jane darling's chalet.

Been waking up on and off since that night at the chalet.

Came back with a flu and now restless nights.

Someone help me man. =.=~

i seriously in need of beauty sleep.

SICK AGAIN~

After the chalet.. =(

i got flu once again. damn.

i had it once a month i think. =/

this is so damn.. shitty.

i hate flu! i cant breathe! and i cant taste! AGAIN! =.=~

I'm on holiday mood already.

this is bad. =.="

Yesterday went shopping with brianca for jane's present.

finally settled for something that she requested. lol.

its ok with the no surprise right? =X

at least we got her something that she wants.

seriously i would rather do it this way. at least i will buy something that is useful for her.

After shopping, we headed down to clark quay to meet up with jane for coffee together with Gunn and RS.

LOL.. and we.. went into MOS for a walk! hahaha.

its been a long time since i step into MOS!

lol.. and we walk one round in MOS, and headed to the toilet for the usual! Yes.. its phototaking~

haha.

Brianca and i~



shhh.. pls do not tell anyone that i went MOS on a thurs night..




the 3 of us~ Back at MOS after a year!



Stayed for about 10mins before heading back home. haha.