Jealousy Begets Possession, Possession Begets Jealousy
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
seriously, sometimes...
i really hate being a scorpio. or is it because i'm lacking of confidence in myself which forms part of the problem?
i guess its both.
to all of u guys who know me. i speak with confidence. i dress and behave as thou i'm an extremely confident person.
yes i do in a certain extend.
work, friends, problems.
but when it comes to love? ..
thats also one reason why i'm afraid of loving.
i lack of confident.. when i'm in love.
perhaps its just the dark shadows constantly reminding me of my past.
perhaps its just my nature..that i'm possessive.
i cannot stand. yes i really.. cannot stand being put together with my guy's ex gf.
put together as in .. appearing together in a place.
like friends.
like being introduce.
like.. in any occasion appearing together.
i dunno why.
i just hate it.
just imagine.. playing mj.. with yr guy ex gf.
*laughs*
i dunno why.
i manage to swim across that whole thing.
yet later on i feel weird out.
i'm trying to rationalise myself that its ok.
that i shouldnt feel this way.
that its a past. they are friends. and he's mine now.
that he dunno that jj brought her along. and that i knew its her who is her ex.
nevermind about the past.. its all in the past anyways.
i'm trying my best u know.
i'm a woman at heart afterall. even thou i may be damn rough, damn manly in some instance..
i'm afraid no matter what.
its not as thou i feel threaten.
its definitely not since i know.. she's not a threat. her has 0 threat in me. i jolly well know that.
but can you understand why i just feel weird?
i dunno how to explain the feeling my in my heart.
is it sour?
or is it just uncomfortable?
i really cannot explain to you... whats going on in that pee brain of mine.
but i just freaking feel uncomfortable.
irritating piece of shit.
damn.
is it possessiveness?
or
is it jealousy?
fucking hell..
i fucking hates to feel jealous over nothing.
and yes.
this is fucking nothing.
i'm irritated.
fucking irritated.
is it wrong for me to feel weird out that i was actually playing mj with my bf's ex gf??
P.S: thaks glenn.. who sounded me out earlier. yeah.. i asked 3 people if its wrong for me to feel weird..
all say its not wrong, but its not right to start a quarrel if i ever intend to over this issue.
nope i'm not intending to start a disagreement or quarrel. i just wanna tell him how i feel, end of case. he cant input anything anyway. he wouldnt know what to say since it wasnt him who brought her along.
i really hate being a scorpio. or is it because i'm lacking of confidence in myself which forms part of the problem?
i guess its both.
to all of u guys who know me. i speak with confidence. i dress and behave as thou i'm an extremely confident person.
yes i do in a certain extend.
work, friends, problems.
but when it comes to love? ..
thats also one reason why i'm afraid of loving.
i lack of confident.. when i'm in love.
perhaps its just the dark shadows constantly reminding me of my past.
perhaps its just my nature..that i'm possessive.
i cannot stand. yes i really.. cannot stand being put together with my guy's ex gf.
put together as in .. appearing together in a place.
like friends.
like being introduce.
like.. in any occasion appearing together.
i dunno why.
i just hate it.
just imagine.. playing mj.. with yr guy ex gf.
*laughs*
i dunno why.
i manage to swim across that whole thing.
yet later on i feel weird out.
i'm trying to rationalise myself that its ok.
that i shouldnt feel this way.
that its a past. they are friends. and he's mine now.
that he dunno that jj brought her along. and that i knew its her who is her ex.
nevermind about the past.. its all in the past anyways.
i'm trying my best u know.
i'm a woman at heart afterall. even thou i may be damn rough, damn manly in some instance..
i'm afraid no matter what.
its not as thou i feel threaten.
its definitely not since i know.. she's not a threat. her has 0 threat in me. i jolly well know that.
but can you understand why i just feel weird?
i dunno how to explain the feeling my in my heart.
is it sour?
or is it just uncomfortable?
i really cannot explain to you... whats going on in that pee brain of mine.
but i just freaking feel uncomfortable.
irritating piece of shit.
damn.
is it possessiveness?
or
is it jealousy?
fucking hell..
i fucking hates to feel jealous over nothing.
and yes.
this is fucking nothing.
i'm irritated.
fucking irritated.
is it wrong for me to feel weird out that i was actually playing mj with my bf's ex gf??
P.S: thaks glenn.. who sounded me out earlier. yeah.. i asked 3 people if its wrong for me to feel weird..
all say its not wrong, but its not right to start a quarrel if i ever intend to over this issue.
nope i'm not intending to start a disagreement or quarrel. i just wanna tell him how i feel, end of case. he cant input anything anyway. he wouldnt know what to say since it wasnt him who brought her along.
posted by icy at 2/17/2010 12:31:00 AM
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